The Tracks of My Tears

Recently I started crying.  That may not seem like a big deal, but for almost three years I've just wanted to cry, but I was too numb to do so.  Now I'm triggered by anything that is remotely emotional.  So I remembered this song from my childhood (no, I didn't grow up in the time of Motown, but that's what I listened to as a kid).  I've selected parts of the lyrics that explain how I feel, and it's a good song.

"People say I'm the life of the party
Because I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look a little bit closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown oh yeah
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up"

Maja Dezulovic

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